Friday, November 11, 2005
finished lit and emaths paper 2 today.. yay!! haha only have like amaths and geog mcq and physics chem mcq!! i cant wait for next thurs man haha freedom!! looking at my entry proof makes me feel so happy.. cuz i finished like most of thje papers alr!! only have like 4 minor papers left.. well amaths is not exactly minor la but yeah. haha accomplished man!! haha trng here i come.. but i think i forgot how to play ball alr.. haha and x'mas is coming!! wonder if it'll be as good as last yrs.. dunno.. prob not.. haha last yrs was great haha.. things have changed for the better or worse i dunno. i hate changes. haha oh well today's a free day.. no studying haha!! feels great
with loves; alvina
8:09 PM
Thursday, November 10, 2005
had geog today. um seemed ok la.. like dunno how to describe it. hope i get at least a b. i made a pact to god if i get a b, i'll donate 10 bucks to um some flag seller. haha. im crazy but yeah. tmr got emaths paper 2 and lit.. i have a feeling emaths will be a lot harder.. hope not.. i want my a1. sighs today got no mood to study. ah i yearn for so many things. i yearn to have freedom agn, to be able to go out. i yearn to go back to trng and have the time of my life. i yearn to eat. haha i yearn to go escape, swimming, gym, bake, iceskating, bowling, for steamboat, movies, harry potter and many other things. sighs.
you know to tell you the truth, in my mind that day i didn't feel as though i was choosing. i hadn't known that i was choosing honestly. all i knew that she was angry so i was gonna try to cheer her up but i didn't know that that would break up our friendship. i didn't know wat i was doing. i didn't realise that i was breaking our friendship apart by following her. when i left i didn't realise you were angry, sad or disappointed. i realli didn't know you'd feel that way. but the fact that i didn't realise doesn't excuse it. i know myself that i always avoid situations that i would have to choose one friend over the other. i hate it. but yet i still did it unknowingly. i know how it feels to have a friend chose someone else over you. i've been thru that and known exactly how it feels yet i've done the exact same thing to a friend. so wat if i didn't know? the pple who did it to me probably didn't know too rite? guess that puts me in the same boat as them huh. i cant forgive myself for that. so how can i expect you to? i didn't mean to hurt you. and i hope you believe that. i cant say that if i turn back time, i would have done differently. cuz i still would not have known how you were feeling. but i can say that in the future i can definitely change how i act and do things differently. there's always a way out of smth without hurting someone and im sorry i could not find it. i can't even look at you and hear you and not have tears in my eyes. that day when i tapped you, and u looked at me for an instant and i saw the disappointment and sadness that i causd in yr eyes.i still see yr face in my dreams and it hurts. shld i back away build a wall and block how i feel? i dunno. i guess we both need time to heal. i guess our friendship cannot go back to the way it used to be and i regret that. i just want you to know, if it doesn't ever go back to that, that i treasure our friendship and you a lot. you mean a lot to me thats why it sux that i did that. i'll always rmr our friendship. it was a great one. and i hate to have been the one to ruin it. i'll always rmr the good times and the bad times, how you always had a way of being there for me and knowing that i needed you. the fun times we had together and all the camps that we've been to will forever be in my head. i'll rmr the first day that i knew you, when i walked into the class and the only place i could find was next to you, i had asked you if i could sit there. then that resulted in us siting in the back row together and started our friendship. i'll rmr the times whenever i needed someone to talk to, you were always there. i'll always think abt all these memories and our wonderful times we had together. i just want you to know that i'll be there for you if you want me to.
if you want our friendship to continue, you dun know how much that would mean to me. i'll be the happiest person on earth. if you dont, i understand as much as i regret that.
it is better to have loved and lost than nvr to have loved at all
with loves; alvina
3:53 PM
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
had chem today.. was ok i think.. a bit harder than i expected. man physics sux!! big time.. i hate physics even though studying for it is like easier than a lot of other subjects.. sighs. i keep thinking. not good. i hope tmr's physics is like super easy or smth.. hopefully.
with loves; alvina
7:57 PM
Monday, November 07, 2005
today's like the official starting for o's.. had emaths and ss.. maths was easy.. sorta and um ss was alrite i think.. but like i always think its alrite then end up failing.. yupps feel so depressed even though papers were alrite.. man tried not to think abt it during papers and was like surrounded by pple the whole day so yeah.. but now im alone at home.. so i can't avoid thinking abt. i went from a good friend to an acquaintance.i skipped the friend stage. maybe even worst than an acquaintance. that was fast. in just minutes.. maybe im thinking too much into it. but i can't take it. maybe its just me. sighs. why didn't i think damn it i swore to myself. i didn't just let you down. i think i let myself down. i dunno wat to do. i help pple solve their problems but i can't seem to solve mine. i tried u know, to make the first move but yeah haiz shld be studying chem. gtg man.
oh just listened to this song that i liked a while back its damn nice.. but makes u think.
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My babay I'm so thankful
I found you
nice lyrics. songs tons nicer
with loves; alvina
6:22 PM
